Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in *~*Brittni*~*'s LiveJournal:

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Sunday, December 5th, 2004
9:45 pm	I'm so used to writing in this when things have been good for me, but lately I'm not so sure. It's like I need so badly for someone to be there for me to vent to, but I don't feel like I have a connection w/anybody right now that I can tell them all my problems. Sure, I could tell Amanda or Kto, but honestly I just need to talk to someone here in Yuma. I was reading my entries from when I came home from camp, and when I was waiting for Erik to come home, and I was so genuinely happy. I was honestly so at peace with my life. I don't understand how me and erik can go from being the friends we were to what we are now. I told erik every little problem in my life...even the things that weren't problems, and he was always there for me. Then him and Katie broke up (the day before his 18th birthday :( ) and everything went downhill between me and him from there. We used to talk every night, and now I'm lucky to talk to him once a week, and that's including times that I see him. It really really sucks, and this is totally a time when I need him. I hate it because I have to make sure that when he's around kat's not around because he hates her and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel helpless. It's like he's getting "too cool" for everyone now, and he can't make any time for the people that have been there even when he's not acting cool. I just want to scream to him that I need him to be there for me, but I hate telling people that I need them, I feel weak then, and I'm never weak. It sucks. On another note, Erik's cousins, Megan and Kiley were here for thanksgiving from St.Louis Missouri, and I love them to death. I got to meet them over the summer, and I loved having them back here. Our church had a football game called the Turkey Bowl on thanksgiving, and me kiley and megan were all on the same team and we stuck together. It was so awesome. Megan and I have been keeping in touch really well, so hopefully we'll keep it up and they can come down again when me, jenn and erik graduate. They are the coolest!! I just want my life back, and I know that everyone that reads this will have absolutely NO idea about who I'm talking about, and I guess that's why I need to write it in here, so nobody can know. I want to be genuinely happy again, I want to laugh from the heart and smile from the heart again. Please God give me that happiness back. I got a job and started working Saturday. I worked 5 hours Sat, 8 hours today and another 7 hours tomorrow. Not ideal. I work at Hollywood video, and we're opening a new store, that's where I'll be working, so we've been stocking everything up lately. It's been hectic. I'm TIRED!! Leave some comments. Love Always and God Bless Brittni 19 more days til Christmas (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 17th, 2004
12:51 am	--BORED-- Things have been going pretty slow around here. I love my life and what I'm doing right now, but I've been getting bored really easily. I can't wait for Erik to come home. He's like the life of the party lately and now Katie's being stupid about us even talking. It's frustrating for me because Katie's my best friend, and Erik's my best friend, but everyone thinks that we can't be just friends. I miss him though. He called me from Colorado today, so it was nice to talk to him for that 25 minutes. I'm excited for Amanda and KTO to meet him. They'll get along, I know it. That's something I've been kind of stressing out about lately. I'm really excited for Amanda and KTO to come and visit, but at the same time I'm scared. I don't want to be different around them. They're my two best friends and I love them more than anything, but I'm different now, and I know our friendship hasn't changed, but my life is different and I'm not sure if they're prepared for the change. We were driving home from the movies today and we were on the street where my old house is. The street I grew up on, and I was just wondering to myself if amanda and kto are prepared for this life of mine. I love them so much though, and I know we're all going to have an awesome time while they are here. I've already talked to Erik and Kat and told them that if I'm different while Amanda and KTO are here, then I want them to be the first to tell me about it. If you get the chance to go see A Cinderella Story, go see it. Awesome movie, and great love story. I was supposed to work until 9 today, but no one showed up for the party, so we closed at 7:45 and I went to the movies at nine with Janae, Janelle, and Kat. Chad Michael Murray is HOT in that movie. Travis said he was going to go though, and never showed up. How disappointing. I'll have a talk with him at work tomorrow. (Amanda you've gotta meet him....hot baseball player....remember our theory on baseball players??) Anyway I'm out for the night....got an 8 hour shift tomorrow...YUCK! Leave something <3333 Brittni (Comment on this)
Monday, July 12th, 2004
3:22 pm	Well we got back from camp the other night. That was probably the best experience of my summer. I was so happy to spend it with the people that I got to. I loved my room. It was me, Elynn, Janelle, and Elynn's mom. We had such a good time. Erik and I got to be VERY close friends on the trip. I'd probably consider him one of my best friends. I love that I can tell him anything and everything and he'll understand me. We both kept journals while at camp, and I wouldn't let anyone read mine, but every night me and Erik would exchange journals. It was nice to get his input every night. It was really hard for the two of us because everyone thought that we were going to end up together. I hated the assumptions because they only assume that because he's a guy. We just did a lot together, that's all. We spent our free time together, and ate lunch and dinner together, and we'd always end up sitting together at worship. I'm comfortable around him, that's all. Some of the stuff that the two of us talked about, I'd feel uncomfortable even talking to a girl about, but not with him. I needed a friendship like his. The trip was absolutely amazing. We were in the mountains, so for once in my summer I could wear jeans and a sweater and have it still be like 80 degrees out. I loved it. God really worked in my life while I was there. I don't feel worried about anything. I feel like all my stress in my life is gone. The other churches there were all from places like Texas, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas....like places with huge accents, so it was really neat to listen to them. I want to put pictures on this thing from the trip, but someone's gotta tell me how to do it, so if you know how to do that, let me know. It's weird to be home right now and not have anything to do. Normally I wake up and make plans, then go to work, and then do something after work. But Katie moved away, Kat is mad at me, and Erik is in Colorado until next Wednesday. It's kind of depressing. Kat's mad at me for stupid reasons though, and she won't come out and say it, so it's kinda been pissing me off too. We'll see how it all works out. I go back to work tomorrow. Need to bring in some more money, so I guess that's a good thing. This morning I slept for so long. I heard our cell phone ring, and I'm thinking Dear God that better be someone important. I looked at the phone and it was Erik. He goes did I wake you up, and I said yes, so he asked what time it was, and it was almost 1 o'clock, so I guess it wasn't as early as I thought it was. Well, I should probably go take a shower, and get up a bit. Someone let me know if you know how to put pictures on this thing. Love, Brittni OH P.S.~ AMANDA AND KTO ARE COMING IN 13 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED. WE'RE GOING TO THE DIAMONDBACKS GAME THE SECOND THEY GET HERE. I MISS THEM, AND I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE THEM! LOVE YOU GUYS (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
12:03 am	Crazy...I'm officially a senior! Kinda exciting I guess. I leave for the Dominican Republic in exactly 17 1/2 hours! Erik and I have really bonded this past week. Friday at Melissa's grad sleep over (boy/girl....tehheeee) Erik was rude by sweet at the same time. Yesterday Erik came over from like 10-1145 at night and we just talked with our feet in the pool. It was fun. Dare I say I'll miss him when he stays in the DR for the month. Katie (ie Dubbs) leaves in like a month. Crazy how people bond so quickly then before you know it they're gone. She knows everything about me and I'm really going to miss that. Work is going great. It's really easy....almost nothing to do, and to get paid for it...hey I can't complain. Heather's an awesome boss, it's like just having a friend around for those 4 1/2 hours. Gotta finish packing. God Bless Brittni P.S. *Amanda I'm glad you called....can't wait for you guys to come down* ****TINA HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY**** LOVE YOU (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 2nd, 2004
10:29 pm	-Saw a couple pictures from Comp's prom. Shauna, you looked BEAUTIFUL!!! Send me some more pictures though people, because I didn't get to see most everyone else. Prom was yesterday for everyone here. Jenn went, but me and some friends had a prom party for the non-prom goers. It was lots of fun. We dressed up, went to Velocity (Youth group church), stayed after velocity for game night til 9, then went to my house. SOOO much food. The guys ate all the food, and us girls played Catchphrase and sang karoke all night. It was a very relieving time! 19 MORE SCHOOL DAYS LEFT. Excited wouldn't even be the word to describe that. I seriously can't even wait. This has, without a doubt, been the fastest year yet. Next year will start and I only have 3 periods a day! woohooo....get out at 10:45...can't complain. And I'll be a senior....now that's scary. Then it's off to college----not even going to start with that. It's been hard, because someone's feelings are going to be hurt in this college process, no matter where I chose to go. Just gotta know I have support from the people that I love (You know who you are! <33) Have my first ever job interview on Tuesday. I'm kinda scared. I'm not good with the whole interrogation thing. It's for lifeguarding on base. I really want the job, but there's like 18-20 days this summer that I know for sure I won't be able to work. 10 days for the Dominican Republic mission trip in June. Then 7 for camp in new mexico, and then 1-2 for Make Waves in Phoenix in july. Crazy crazy times. Definitley missing everyone back east. I seriously haven't talked to anyone in like a month. I mean phone calls, internet, or snail mail. How sad is that. I miss you guys though, just know that and I love you all. Suprise me one day though! This summer Dubbs moves away. She reminds me SOOO much of Amanda and the friendship that me and her continue to still have. We became such good friends in a really short time, and of course now she's gotta move away. Sometimes we're totally opposite, but at the same time, totally the same! Today we voted to start the preparation for building the new church. I'm really excited. It's so cool. There's palm trees all around it, and it's so classy looking. We also voted to change the name of our church from West Yuma Southern Baptist Church to now....I'm attending Oasis Church. It was kinda cool to actually have a say in the whole building and name changing process. OKAY....I promise this is the end. If you've bothered to read this far, I appreciate it...and leave a comment, let me know how things are. Or, better yet, email me. Love, Brittni Kylene Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Switchfoot- "Meant to Live" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 18th, 2004
11:18 pm	Crazy times here lately. I don't use this thing much anymore, but here goes It's taken a really long time, but for once, I'm actually happy. I feel like my life is finally taking the right path. ::sigh of relief:: No one ever took me as the church person, but I am...I'm a big church person, and I'm happy when I'm there. Yesterday, I went to a concert and me and Victoria hung out like the whole time. It's so awesome with her, cuz I can be myself, and she's like 8 years older than me, but I can tell her a lot. Erik got his car broken into. Poor kid, he's been through a lot lately, I feel for him. I'm glad I got to know him. I put labels on people when I see them, and I didn't like Erik for a LONG time, but things have changed. I have officially figured out that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I used to think I had college and my career perfectly chosen. But the reality of it all is, I don't have a clue what I want to be, and suddenly, I'm torn between Massachusetts and Arizona. Massachusetts has the two best friends that I have ever known waiting for me to head off to college with them, but Arizona has my family, and my first real peace with life, so I just don't know. There's a lot of question with that subject. Next weekend is prom. Jenny's going with Craig, and me, Kari, Kalin, Alana, James, and Trevor are all dressing up and going out to dinner and forming our own little prom. Maybe I can get Aaron to come over too <33 Lori (my youth pastor, Augie's wife) had a daughter on Wednesday....Taylor Nicole Clarkson.....AWWW. AND my cousin had a baby wednesday too....Tucker Calvin..what kinda name is that?? *****Comment in my journal asking me 3 questions (about ANYTHING) then copy & paste this into your journal so others can aske you three questions, including me ******** Alright, I'm out....have a good vacation CHICOPEE....MY LOVE TO YOU! <333 Brittni (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 14th, 2004
8:43 pm	Okay this is my monthly update! I NEVER use this thing anymore, in fact, I don't talk to a lot of people anymore. kinda sad....very sad So here's a little update on what's going on: Tennis started about three weeks ago.....ends in three weeks! <---getting my fair share of sun with that. They start digging for our pool this week...that's kinda exciting I met a boy....sorta Fair is in two weeks....that's means Pedro's off to the slaughter house in about three weeks....that's sad times school sucks....failing english w/a 51 Dominican Republic meeting tomorrow....that's coming up soon Summer Camp in New Mexico...that's coming up soon too AMANDA & KTO ARE COMING in the beginning of July. WICKED EXCITED ABOUT THAT! Other than that, nothing terribly exciting....Just another month in the life of Brittni. Anyway, won't waste anymore time! I'M OUT! <333 Brittni Current Mood: blank Current Music: Rascall Flatts (got the CD today :o) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
11:03 pm	............i miss you like you wouldn't believe................. c o m e b a c k (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
10:17 pm	Okay, it's been like decades since I've updated this thing. All's well here in Yuma. ---started tennis about a week ago....decided to do that over softball. it's been fun....DEFINITELY not like Mr. Kendra's tennis! still swimming....other than that, can't say there's a heck of a lot going on ---9 DAYS TIL OUR SKI TRIP (but I'm not skiing, I'm just sledding) *******I GOT MY FIRST OFFICIAL TAN OF THE YEAR ON MONDAY******** -----oh yea, and on an ending note, I gotta agree with Stacy...GUYS SUCK! <333 Brittni ---leave something fun :o) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 7th, 2004
1:17 am	"Please forgive me.....I can't stop loving you" Today was a little easier than the last time leaving...no crying this time. Thank goodness, I couldn't handle any emotions tonite. I did enough of that crying after leaving your house yestserday :( Friendly's was wicked good times. Katie, Sara, Kazzy, Amanda, KTO, KB, Jess....LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Katie made spitballs....HAHA...that made me laugh a lot! It's been fun guys, and we've gotta keep all smiles from here on out. Senior Year prom will come before we know it! ALL MY LOVE! <333 Brittni (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
9:26 pm	Don't Save it all for Christmas Day "So Don't Save It All For Christmas Day Find a way To give a little love everyday Don't Save It All For Christmas Day Find your way 'Cause holidays have come and gone But love lives on If you give on Love......" Happy Holidays Everyone....2 weeks....I love you! :o) Current Mood: excited Current Music: Celine Dion - "Don't Save it All For Christmas Day" (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 4th, 2003
4:30 pm	hmmm...... "You can't make footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time??" Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: Saliva - "Rest in Pieces" (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
5:09 pm	We went to McDonalds the other day...and there was a band playing. A bunch of old folks strumming on their guitars. Who does that?!? Current Mood: amused (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 21st, 2003
10:04 pm	"How the hell did we wind up like this?" I'm listening to the radio....it's Spanish....I took French....I don't understand!! UGH! Nickelback is better in English I think! This computer is gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! 33 days! :) I love Shaun (we had a date tonite!) lol P.S. What'd you think of the movie?? love you! -There's a REALLY cute boy at my school. :::::sigh:::::: It's good to have connections! ;-) <333333 Brittni Current Mood: geeky Current Music: Nickelback-"Someday" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 19th, 2003
5:58 pm	*When I look to the sky...something tells me that you're here with me* -Crazy times going on around here- We leave for Las Vegas in exactly a week. I'm kinda excited about that. It's going to be soooo weird to see all of these relatives that I haven't even heard of. Good times though....Coca-Cola factory, horseback riding, meeting new people, and lots of lights. hmm..... Amanda and I chatted on the phone the other night. I needed that...we had so much to talk about, and just not enough time in the night. She got me SOO excited about college....we're going to have a great time! I had the talk I needed with him the other night. I was beginning to lose hope....maybe not now. So much has changed for me now. I want life to be like it used to be. I want to come home everyday after school, and no part of me wants to go out on the weekends. I don't like going to football games anymore, and basketball games just aren't going to be the same without Amanda Sara Katie and Shauna anymore. I want life back....my life. It's not fair anymore. Things will get better...I hope. On a brighter note....I come home in 36 days! It's going to be a WHITE christmas....and a SANDY christmas....all in one day! Crazy! Well.....it's time to hit the books....Much love though! <33333333333333 Brittni Current Mood: blank Current Music: Train-"When I look to the sky" (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 17th, 2003
9:53 pm	~Trying to see if this new picture thing worked out~ All my love Brittni (2 Comments |Comment on this)
9:23 pm	My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul britth goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as a ballerina. alwaysgold gives you 12 green cola-flavoured gummy bears. alwayswishful tricks you! You get a used tissue. brittbrit tricks you! You lose 2 pieces of candy! daydreamer513 tricks you! You get a broken toy car. grace1587 tricks you! You get a broken toy car. irisheyes518 gives you 16 mauve tropical-flavoured hard candies. kerrieb gives you 17 mauve root beer-flavoured wafers. oosuperstaroo gives you 12 white grapefruit-flavoured gummy bats. silverlining7 tricks you! You get a thumbtack. vodkaberry gives you 14 purple grapefruit-flavoured gummy bats. britth ends up with 69 pieces of candy, a used tissue, a broken toy car, a broken toy car, and a thumbtack. Go trick-or-treating! Username: Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. OOOOiieee...I got lucky this halloween! (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 13th, 2003
6:39 pm	If I had the guts to run away and never come back.....I would :( (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, October 20th, 2003
9:47 pm	*Everything is FLYING by right now....which is excellent* ----------------66 more days----------------------- Got a letter from Katie Marc the other day....I laughed the ENTIRE time I read it!! I wrote back. I never knew that someone I cared about so little could be the one person to make me feel more guilty than anyone ever could. I hate you for that! -You told me high school love is just for play....I don't believe you. You have to believe in love. I believe in love.....I need to love you. "I'm here without you baby/But you're still on my lonely mind/I think about you baby/And I dream about you all the time/I'm hear without you baby/But you're still with me in my dreams/And tonite...it's only YOU and ME" I wish life was like the fairytale stories <333 Long day ahead of me....all my love is in Chicopee...forever and always! "I know we'll be friends for life, sharing our dreams together. As we walk down the road, we'll never think twice, our memories will last forever. And although we're off to different worlds, somehow we're together. And even though we're far apart, our memories are deep within our hearts. These are the times to remember our memories will last forever more" Leave some ~*~Happy~*~ comments <333 Brittni (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 6th, 2003
4:17 pm	RED SOX SOON!! <3 We Belive<3 *****LETS GO RED SOX***** REVERSE THE CURSE!! *Cowboy up* ----->even though me and Meghan don't know what that means!! Love you girl!!! <333 (1 Comment |Comment on this)